Tag Archives: acceptance

Rear-ended without Judgment

Rear Ended without JudgmentAfter years of careful driving on the 14 Freeway, I was rear-ended Thursday morning where traffic goes from 80 mph to 0-5 mph for no apparent reason. I was able to slow down and stop with the cars in front of me. But, when I heard the dreaded screech of tires held hard by brakes. I looked up in my rear view mirror and saw the grey car behind me was not going to stop.

I had too much time! I had time to fully recognized that I had no path to get out of the way. My whole body tensed up. The grey car hit the right back side of my car, ripping my back bumper from its bolt into the trunk. The bumper stayed on because the trunk lid stayed locked down. Traffic allowed us to move from the fast lane to right shoulder.

I made a conscious decision to not be in reaction because I sure was full of unexpressed energy – adrenaline. I was not going to have any opinion about anything – just stay in the moment, acknowledging that I was shaky while we did the usual after-crash things.

I was so shaken and pumped with adrenaline that I sat in the safety of the wide shoulder for over 40 minutes, calling his insurance company, calling work to say I wasn’t coming in.

That right there was huge for me because the “old me” would have done a spiritual bypass. The old me would have done my own Science of Mind wholeness treatment and then off to work I’d go.

But, I know now that denying my feelings and telling myself that I’m OK when I’m not is a perversion of the Science Of Mind principle. Now I know that it’s OK to be in uncomfortable feelings, pain, even anger. And to know those feelings are included in wholeness.

Instead of confusing my body and mind by telling myself everything was OK when it wasn’t, I instead told myself,

Something happened (my car got hit from behind with me in it),

That event is over,

I made it.

I am not alone.

I am amazed by how healing it is to stay in the present moment. By allowing my feeling and pain and “uncomfortable-ness,” and not blocking them with a spiritual treatment, they moved through me much faster. Without judgment about my feelings and pain, the other driver, his insurance company, I just made an assumption that my highest good was unfolding.

And I have been able to see my highest good unfold quickly before me. The other driver’s insurance has told me that they are taking total responsibility for the accident and gave me instructions for getting my car fixed and taking care of my injuries.

I am not carrying any blame, shame or anger with me through the process. I am delighted that I won’t have anything to forgive or let go in the future because I’m not carrying it around with me right now.

In a correct use of Science of Mind, I know that God holds nothing against anyone. By just saying,

“Something happened,

That event is over,

I made it.

I am not alone,”

I get to enter into a new experience of Principle, of God. It’s a new way of being for me – not over-thinking or judging, just absolutely trusting that my highest good is unfolding. Trusting God. Trusting myself!

Thank you!

This post is a Five Minute Talk presented on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night at the Granada Hills Center for Spiritual Living. Talks are given by Licensed CSL Practitioners who invest at least four years in learning and applying these concepts and ideas in their daily life. For more topics like this one, please join us at our Center for one of our Sunday services or for our Wednesday evening service at 7 PM.

My Dog Ate My Cash! or How Acceptance Saved Bernadette

Bernadette w mutila#38C7DEBWhen stuff that disturbs me arises in my meditation practice, it’s easy now to observe it without judgment. In fact, as my practice deepens, I have developed compassion by meeting those painful or intense experiences that arise with loving-kindness. God and Love are synonymous- in meditation; I meet arising disturbing feelings or thoughts with God, with love.

Every summer I have to comply with fire department regulations to get all the weeds and brush cleared off my property. This is a big job as I have two and half acres that have to be cleared.

Several summers ago, I had gone to the bank and pulled all the cash I needed to pay the day laborers the next day. I put the cash in an envelope. The next morning as I’m getting ready to leave to pick up the workers, I found the envelope on my living room floor, with all the cash half eaten.

Yes, my dog ate my cash!

I was looking at hundreds of dollars of half-eaten cash. I admit:  My first reaction was to gut little Bernadette. In the space of fifteen minutes, I did have feelings of anger. I did experience blame.

The good news is that I only stayed in it for only about fifteen minutes. And I thank my spiritual practice for giving me the muscle to stop and take a deep breath and just experience or witness what was happening without judgment- a pile of half-eaten cash.

I accepted What Is. {Keep breathing.}

This is different than acceptance as resignation, which is what acceptance used to be for me: I tried to like what was happening or resign to it, or search for the meaning or the lesson in it, or figure out what’s wrong with me for not wanting to accept it, or agree there’s nothing I can do about it.

Ernest Holmes reminds us: “A perfect acceptance is when the mind is most completely in tune with the Infinite, without argument or mental controversy.”

From the Big Book’s Acceptance was the Answer chapter:
“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact in my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the away it is supposed to be at this moment.”

Tara Brach in her book Radical Acceptance says:
“Radical Acceptance means clearly recognizing what we are feeling in the present moment and regarding that experience with compassion.“

Now I had time to make an ‘inner’ choice. How could I accept this situation with love? From this place of compassion, I could then decide what action I needed to take in response.

So instead of gutting my dog, I took a deep breath, sat down at my computer, Googled “mutilated money” and found out there’s a whole procedure that the government has for just these situations.

And I also learned that our government has a sense of humor- did you know that the website address that prints all of United States of America money – the Bureau of Engraving and Printing – is www.moneyfactory.gov? Now that factoid is almost worth the all the half-eaten cash.

When we learn to meet whatever arises in our body, heart and mind with radical acceptance, we discover a precious freedom.  We come to trust the love that is our true essence. I invite all of us to take this practice of radical acceptance into our daily lives and love ourselves!

Do you want to hear more? Reverend Jessica is just one of the ministers who presides at the Center for Spiritual Living in Granada Hills. Come and join us for a Sunday or Wednesday service to hear more!